New Wii Kids game 'Enjoy Your Massage!' is porn for adolescents

Enjoy Your Massage!” comes out August 9th, and has an “E” rating. Not surprisingly, it’s being made by a Canadian Company.

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After having watched the trailer above, I don’t know why Nintendo is wasting its time with crappy games like “Enjoy Your Massage!”. The music sounds like I am riding in an  elevator to hell, the point of view never zooms out so I can see the female giving the massages (just my hands), and the actual massage motion looks like I am scrubbing or cleaning something, not massaging. I hope young boys who buy this game don’t think this is what massages are like.

As for actual game-play, it’s just a memory game so that might be fun for someone? I call this game adolescent soft-core porn because of the rewarding pictures you get to see of your clientèle once you’ve successfully completed a massage (there is even a zoom feature, presumably to get a close-up shot of panties or cleavage)- and there is no other reason to have those reward photos except to stimulate arousal.

If I was an adolescent boy, I’d rather play any of the Dating Sim games at Newgrounds.com being as they are free… and sometimes show nudity.


Obsession with cats creeps into Art World

Kittens

Image by crsan via Flickr

This evening, the Pussy Galore Group show including artists Katie Arford, Laura Bovinet, Lianna Faletto, Allysa Hallett, Brandon Howe, Andrea Jablonski, Matthew Jorgensen, Andrew Malvenda, Charlie Megna, Eric Oij, Kelly Reaves, Pat Rios, and Madelyn Strutz, opened at the 345 Gallery smack dab  in the center of the oh-so-trendy Wicker Park, Chicago.

Besides the proliferation of cat pictures and videos all over the internet, I thought I would take the time to remind everyone that the only reason why we like cats is because we all have toxoplasmosis in our brains (1 in 4 Americas has it, thank you very much).

Although not in tonight’s show, Ashley Lande has an excellent piece featuring a floating cat head emitting a prism of light above a prophet Muhammad figure (see the second illustration on the top left). Clearly, Ashley Lande has speculated on whether the prophet Muhammad was infected with toxoplasmosis (I say he was!).   Ashley Lande’s work, as described by Lost at E Minor, takes our “current obsession with neo-primitivism and mysticism [and] exposes the awkwardness that arises from the fetishization and appropriation of cultures.”

Audrey Erickson has also made cats a common subject in her paintings, as seen here. The painting on the very top screams “bird on the brain”, which is fitting when we humans have “cats on the brain”. I only hope this Pussy Galore Group Show is at least a little ironic, or embraces the science behind our obsession with cats.

And just for good measure, here is the latest cat meme sweeping the internet:

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Love me, I quit smoking three months ago…

Common adverse effects of tobacco smoking (See...

Image via Wikipedia

Full disclosure: it will be three months by next week, which means next week I will have hit that 12 week mark where I should be more comfortable with my new lifestyle.

Just this evening, I was jogging home from my local CAPS meeting and I surprised myself. I was able to run 4 blocks to my house and not be out of breath. I didn’t feel tired, or as if I was going to pass out, and I couldn’t hear my heart pounding loudly in my ears.  My mini-run put me in such a good mood that I couldn’t stop smiling for at least an hour.  My smoking cessation hasn’t been all peachy, however. I will admit, I’ve had a couple of incidents.

The first incident:

I don’t know if you can call this a relapse, but a couple weeks ago I was eating lunch with a friend, and I had a drag of her cigarette. I asked for a drag because I wanted to see what it would taste like. I was feeling pretty confident in my abilities; I hadn’t had a craving in a couple of weeks, and I just wanted to try it. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea, maybe I was testing myself, but either way, I hated the drag I had. I actually coughed. I was disgusted. And then I felt proud of myself, for feeling that way. I felt proud of my body for reacting so negatively to the cigarette smoke.

The second incident:

This incident is actually an ongoing process. Lately in my dreams, I am smoking a cigarette. It is not every night that I am smoking a cig, but I would say it has happened at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks. At first the dreams worried me, because I thought I would start smoking again because it was “on my mind”… but now I wonder if it is a warning to myself, and a reminder that I am trying to change, and be a new person, and I can’t relapse now.  It is common knowledge that our brains don’t stop developing until we are 25, so if I spent the last 6 years of my adult life addicted to nicotine, my brain chemistry would have developed with a place for nicotine.  Now that I no longer feed my brain nicotine, is there a chemical hole in my brain? Has my addiction harmed my brain chemistry?

“Brain skills come online with the onset in adolescence,” Caldwell said. “It’s a work in progress. It’s learning every single day.”

As teens learn to bridle their emotions with reasoning skills, Caldwell said, alcohol and drug use can be counterproductive.

“Addiction is related to experiences of learning, memory, reward and the motivation to go back to the substance, despite consequences,” he said.

via GazetteXtra.com “Alcohol, drugs slow teen development

And while I know the article quoted above is about drugs and alcohol in teens, couldn’t it also apply to nicotine?  Could this explain why I am still so ruled by my emotions? If I had never started smoking, would I have a different personality? Scary thoughts…

You can read about my first 6 days here, and my status update after a month here


Cigarettes contain Pig Blood

Pigs of the breed "Bunte Bentheimer"...

Image by AFP/Getty Images via Daylife

Dutch researchers have found pig hemoglobin in cigarettes:

The pig’s haemoglobin was found to be a fairly effective filter for cigarettes but this information was not on cigarette labels because the Tobacco industry was not required by law to disclose the ingredients of their products

via Ozcar Guide “Cigarettes Found To Contain Pig’s Blood

The pig’s hemoglobin blocks toxic chemicals from entering the lungs. That is all fine and dandy, but cigarette companies really should disclose what is in their products. The new health care bill requires all restaurants to make their calorie counts publicly accessible, so why isn’t this the case with cigs? An Aussie Professor says it best:

‘It just puts into hard relief the problem that the tobacco industry is not required to declare the ingredients of cigarettes – they say “that’s our business and a trade secret”.’

via Daily Mail “Warning to religious groups after traces of pigs blood found in cigarette filters

If you are Jewish, Muslim, or a vegetarian, you now have another reason to quit smoking!


I have been nicotine free for over a month

Antarctica: Marlboro Reds

You disgust me, cowboy killers! Image by elisfanclub via Flickr

As the title suggests, I have not had a cigarette in over a month, and all cigarette smoke is now disgusting to me. I attribute my success to the rigid control I exerted on my environment, but let it be known that the subliminal messages I got from TV shows were also helpful (both 30 Rock and Community had “quit smoking” references during my worst pangs).

My cessation of cigarettes was a multi-month long operation that began a week before the new year. I’d been talking about quitting smoking for years, … but I was “waiting” for the right opportunity.

Read the rest of this entry »


Love me, I just quit smoking…

Nicotine

Nicotine via Wikipedia

Yes, I realize this space is not for me to share personal experiences, but I thought I would share with my fellow T/Sers my struggles. This is also a ploy to get some cyber sympathy, some pats on the back and words of encouragement… so please leave them below. I need them.

I started smoking when I was 16 because I thought I was a bad-ass, and I was rebelling against my parents and my catholic school institution. I don’t think I got addicted then, it was more “let’s go to Central Park after school and smoke cigs before we go home”. In college it was a different story as access was easy. I was 18, and shopkeepers could not refuse my requests. My health deteriorated over the years, my clothes began to reek, and I lost my sense of smell. Read the rest of this entry »


Dogs in clothing piss me off

Fawn pug

Pugs, the most mutated of them all....Image via Wikipedia

Oh great. I have gone the whole winter without seeing a mutant dog dressed up like a human, until today, when for god knows what reason I was browsing the ChicagoNOW blogs:

When the weather gets cold, what’s a dog to do? Bundle up, of course!  …what are Chicago’s dogs wearing to stay warm? We want to know! E-mail a picture of your pooch in his or her winter outfit to us at redeyetalk@gmail.com with “winterdog” in the subject line.

via Show off your dog in RedEye! – RedEye. (click the link to see the infuriating picture)

First off, if this dog were a real dog and not a mutant dog…. (and by mutant I mean genetically altered to change their size, fur type, jaw structure, etc  but in exchange cause floating knee caps, a skull that is too small for their brain, twisted spines for curled tails, a lifetime of pain, depression,  organ problems, seizures, brain tumors and other ailments that affect dogs that are not mutts) … the animal wouldn’t need any clothes to keep warm.

Second, dogs are not dolls, just like how they are not products. Don’t dress them up like they are dolls, and please don’t buy them designer clothes,  or I will have to cut you. (In my mind only, of course)

Third, if vegans and vegatarians, PETA, and  Jonathan Safran Foer really cared about animals, they would be calling for the end of designer and purebred dogs. Or for Congress to regulate their breeding, at least.  We hated everything else about Hitler, why is this still around? (Oh right, because they’re soooooo cute!)

So STFU and GTFO RedEye. Please.