Top 10 sexiest male video game characters

The internet is littered with lists of hot female video game characters, I thought it was time I made one for the ladies. For you males about to protest my lack of steroid-using males, I refer you to this picture.

Number 10:

Miguel Caballero Rojo from Tekken 6

Choosing a Tekken character was difficult as the obvious choices are Jin ( “take me for a night ride, Jin!“) and Hwoarang (because he has pretty flowing hair, rides a motorcycle and can rock goggles).  What removed Jin and Hwoarang from this list is: both men weren’t consistantly attractive throughout the series. Hwoarang looks like a Neanderthal in Tekken 4  and Jin’s nipples were too weird in 4 & 5 to the point of distraction. Horns are only attractive on certain males, and Devil Jin is not one of them.

Miguel makes my number 10 because of his outfit, his sexy voice, his nonchalant manner, his swagger, and his need to seek revenge for his sister is somewhat noble and heartwarming. Miguel is only number 10 because he is too manly for me to handle and looks like a newly homeless pimp in his second outfit. Miguel, how is it possible that you can rock a matador outfit but not a long coat?

Number 9:

Ryu and Ken Masters from the Street Fighter series

Ryu and Ken are tied for 9th place because of this video from the animated Street Fighter series (apologies for the song).  Homophobes should not click on the hyperlink, or watch the video below.

If you can’t handle thinking about Ryu and Ken this way (prudes!), I present you with Tenacious D’s song titled Double Team to explain why I listed these two street fighters together.

Number 8:

Tidus from the Final Fantasy series

Despite their feminine features, Final Fantasy males have normal, attractive bodies (compared to say, the men of Gears of War). Squall Lionheart was my initial choice because brunettes are better than blondes, but Squall’s style and scar aren’t enough to overlook his character flaws. The same applies to Cloud Strife.  Why exactly does Cloud have that large of a weapon? His sword size makes me think he is compensating for something…  while Tidus is honest, speaks his mind, and has one of the best personalities of the main Final Fantasy characters. Cloud requires some warming up, while you  instantly like Tidus.  Tidus and Yuna also have a romantic underwater kissing scene. Tidus is only number 7 because of his clothing attire (inspired by fishermen? really?) and because of his age in Final Fantasy X: 17 is jail bait in some states.

Number 7

Fox McCloud from the Star Fox series

Fox McCloud is so foxy. Can you imagine cuddling with him? And his nice bushy tail? Sometimes I wish I was Krystal

[youtubevid id="K5ILCyhN_5c"]

Number 6:

Solid Snake from the Metal Gear Series

Even though Solid Snake is based off a variety of action movie heroes (but also Christopher Walken!), he is troubled and complicated.  I wanted to be his stay-at-home wife, and be his shoulder to cry on when he came home. From having to kill his twin brother, to constantly being pulled out of retirement, to killing his old mentor, to insane premature aging, to his multiple suicide attempts, Solid Snake had some issues to work out (and I am not even scratching the surface here).  I don’t think there is another video game character out there that I want to hold and comfort as much as I want to hold Solid Snake. Despite all his hardships, Solid Snake always maintains a level and calm head, is dependable,  and possesses MacGyver-esque capabilities (to be expected with his high IQ).  Solid Snake is only at number 6 (he could easily be number 3) because watching tribute videos of Solid Snake make me cry like no other video game tributes ever could. To add a touch of humor to an otherwise tragic choice, Solid Snake makes a great porn star name.

Number 5:

Dante from the Devil May Cry series

He has silver hair, is seeking revenge for his dead mother, has super powers, a great sense of style (notice the zipper over his crotch, and his trenchcoat), is generally witty,  and is demon spawn. I crushed on him so hard when I was a teenager…

Number 4:

David King from the Resident Evil Outbreak series

A man of few words, David is sexy as all hell, a badass, fires his gun with one hand in a nonchalant manner, has a great voice and is the true Macgyver on this list. Never in a million years would I think a plumber was sexy, but David King is the exception.  Yeah, the whole mysterious “rarely talk about my past or myself” is enchanting at first, but it gets old really quickly. The internetz say he had a short temper, but I don’t remember any of that… or perhaps I overlooked it because his ability to craft weapons from anything outshone his anger problem.

Number 3:

The Prince from Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

From the Prince’s poofy pants (very Aladdin-like!), facial hair, haircut and voice actor Nolan North, the Prince has earned the number 3 spot easily. The Prince is so acrobatic and graceful, thereby so fun to watch move… and despite the critics, I think the Prince looked great in Warrior Within and the subsequent versions, even if he stopped wearing the white poofy pants and became all doom and gloom.

Number 2:

Leon from the Resident Evil series

Oh Leon… he is such a gentleman. He’ll even take a bullet for you. If there was ever a zombie invasion, Leon is your man. Having been exposed to both zombie viruses (and a parasite), he knows the drill. When you first meet Leon, he is late for an assignment because he overslept- something I can relate to-  but by the end of the series, Leon has become a trusted Secret Service agent.  Besides his hair and voice, Leon has a great sense of style (even looks great in a mobster outfit) and is a friend to animals.

And while I know he is not related to the Kennedy’s, taking him home to my immigrant mom would win me some brownie points.

Number 1:

Desmond Miles from the Assassins Creed series

Yes, Desmond Miles is not the “assassin”, but you know by the third installment Mr. Miles will have all assassin  capabilities because of the “bleeding effect”. Desmond Miles has a sexy voice (Nolan North again), and moves like a panther ( I can gush about his swagger all day long), eagle, and ballet dancer all rolled into one. How many males can get away with that sideways cape, or those knee-high leather boots? No one but Mr. Miles. And you know under all those layers he has a fantastic body. The fact that I cannot see it makes him all the more attractive – there is much left to the imagination…

But most importantly, Desmond Miles looks like a normal dude, someone I can actually have a relationship with. His personal issues only make him more intriguing…what can I say, damaged guys have their appeal?

Honorable mentions include: Yoshi (all about the tongue), Max Payne, Dr. Gordon Freeman (his glasses and his field of study), and the demoman from Team Fortress 2 (his accent and eye patch).


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 95 other followers