The Urban Soundscape (and why we should care about poor people’s shit)

Bernie Krause’s New York Times Op-ed “The Sound of a Damaged Habitat” gave me chills it was so good a (short!) read. Somehow, Krause gets away with describing the sounds of birds and bugs as an “orchestra,” and it doesn’t come off as cheesy. Damn! As a writer I am impressed.

What freaked me the fuck out, however, was how important sound – noise, din, the daily racket, whatever you want to call it-  is, to things that are living.

Rereading that sentence makes me want to go “duh:” it should be a no-brainer that animals don’t like loud noises and we can tell a lot about a habitat by the sounds we hear in it. As Krause pointed out, however, “too little research has been done in the field of biophonics” so running around saying “duh” to the research that has been done wouldn’t be encouraging to any scientist, I suppose.     Read the rest of this entry »


New Yorkers (and the world) need to chill out over the Great Bronx Zoo Cobra Escape

Lilith (1892) by John Collier in Southport Atk...

There's this rumor going around saying Lilith slept with snakes...

So, I am not a “snake expert”, and the post below is based off my limited experiences with snakes at friends houses and from my observations at the zoo. Oh, and, the fact that snakes are cold-blooded, meaning snakes are the temperature of their surroundings.

Psst, New Yorkers! The cobra is a cold-blooded reptile, and it’s 40 degrees outside! Why would the escaped cobra even leave the Reptile building?

Because there is obviously nothing to fear, I have to assume this is all because New York,  New York was feeling jealous over all the national (and international) media attention Chicago’s been getting because of our newly elected Mayor Rahm Emanuel. As proof of how awesome our new mayor is, his fake twitter account is being made into a book.  Does Mayor Bloomberg even have a fake twitter (a good one)? And are the tweets of the fake Bronx Zoo Cobra  going to be made into a book? I scoff at myself for even posing the question. Well, maybe if the cobra actually kills someone.

You can probably tell, I don’t find the fake Bronx Zoo Cobra twitter account funny mainly because I refuse to forget that snakes are cold-blooded… (just like how squirrels can’t pickpocket people because they don’t have hands – I’m looking at you, Justin Kaufmann-)

As to why journalists (and their readers/viewers) have eaten this silly story up, my  guess is the escaped  Bronx Zoo cobra story lightens an otherwise somber international community worried about Japan, Libya, and budget deficits.

UPDATE: Before I hit the Publish button I  google-newsed “bronx zoo cobra”, and do you know what was at the top of my search? The Egyptian cobra was found inside the Reptile building. I am soooo good.

Like me, the director of the Bronx Zoo Jim Breheny also doesn’t understand all the hub-bub over the snake, as evident by his behavior in the above press conference video.


Japanese Earthquake, Tsunami reveal American Stupidity, Insensitivity

Avenge Pearl Harbor. Our bullets will do it, c...

Image by The U.S. National Archives via Flickr

EDIT: The internet is telling me all these anti-Japanese sentiments began with  a Family Guy staff writer’s joke tweet. He deleted the tweet and apologized, though other Americans might actually mean it as evident by their Facebook vitriol?

The last 48 hours for Japan have been rough: two earthquakes, a tsunami, and fears of nuclear meltdown.

A logical, possible explanation? A solar flare.

Some  cesspoolian Americans, however, viewed these natural phenomena as the work of a spiritual deity. These Americans believe the universe was angry at Japan for Pearl Harbor, and decided to wait more than 50 years to dish out karmic justice.  Except these Americans  didn’t say it like that.  More like:   “Fuck Japan! Remember Pearl Harbor? Karma’s a bitch!” Yeah.

When I think of all the Americans that never learned of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings,  my forehead wrinkles with worry. No Child Left Behind is doing a worse job than we imagined!

If I had to pick a country, between the United States and Japan, that would get karmic retribution for actions in World War II, I’d pick the United States (body count, occupation).   If I were to follow the Facebooking-karmic-justice-Americans logic, where  nature takes it upon herself to punish man for the things he does to his fellow man, I’d have to assume that Katrina, the tornadoes tearing up the midwest,  the BP Oil Spill (why not?) and every other natural catastrophe to hit the states EVER,  is retribution for things America did in prior wars. Or am I being silly here, because America don’t have to worry about karmic retribution? I don’t know the rules to this karma-blame-game… maybe America is exempt.

But what about New Zealand? Following the logic stated above, one could argue the Christchurch earthquake happened because of the Anglo-Maori wars centuries ago.   And the flooding in Australia? Oh, the universe is always punishing that country – they’re a country of criminals, you see?

But really, why Pearl Harbor?

My hypothesis:  the film  “Pearl Harbor” played recently (ahem, on repeat for a week) on some cable channel, making the battle of Pearl Harbor  fresh in commonplace American  minds.  These Americans heard the world “Japan” on the news, and were like, “I just watched a movie with Ben Affleck, and that tsunami country bombed us in the movie!   Serves them right, durrr, derr.”

(I don’t know if “Pearl Harbor” aired recently, but this makes me think my idea has merit…)

CLOSING EDIT: That joke flew over my head and now I feel silly. Perhaps all those Facebook people were really imitating Alec Sulkin. Reddit does not know this yet, nor does Viceland.com, linked above. (3:30pm CST)


Does the apocalypse begin with a food shortage brought on by bees?

Thought Catalog has a brief post about bees dying all over the world, and how this effects the global food supply.  Specifically:

citrus fruits, apples, onions, broccoli, cabbage, sprouts, courgettes, peppers, aubergines, avocados, cucumbers, coconuts, tomatoes and broad beans, as well as coffee and cocoa

That is a pretty diverse list of yummy foods – and I don’t want to imagine a world without those foods.

Because I hate being all doom and gloom, I am hoping the esteemed scientists will figure out how to genetically modify those foods like they did the banana.

As for why bees are disappearing, my guess is either messed up electromagnetic fields, pollution, or the Black Eyed Peas.


Hot

A new decree! All men with nice bodies should wear bathing suits like the ones below:

(this image was found on Palm Beach State College Humanities blogspot)


Bisexuals get no LGBT love, apparently

The bisexual pride flag.

wtf, bisexuals have a flag too? Where is the straight flag!?!?! Image via Wikipedia

So I was browsing reddit, like I do, and I happened upon a mother telling her daughter she is a slut if she is bi. This shared text exchange caused me to revisit a bar conversation I had recently with sex journalist Rabbit White. Our conversation started out with the discussion of the  “queer” label’s rising popularity, but quickly moved over to the black sheep of the LGBT community: the bisexuals. The general feeling is either bisexuals are whores at heart or don’t know they’re gay yet.

This was news to me, but you’ll have to forgive me on this one – I never got into the whole LGBT community because a) I am not one for “groups”, b) I don’t really go around announcing my sexual orientation and c) I exhibit no visual markers or cues through my clothing or hair so my bisexuality rarely comes up. My sexual orientation is my own personal business, so in my silence I guess people  assume I am straight?  I never felt the need to “out” myself as a bisexual, but I think this is the problem the community has with me. I am either “confused”, an artsy chick trying to be edgy, or worse, one of those curious girls kissing each other at a frat party for “top dog” status.  Read the rest of this entry »


Male Military Personnel Must Proclaim Sexual Orientation

Shifting Gears: A Bisexual Transmission

Are bisexuals the biggest threat to the military?!

Alternative title: “The partial defense of the Daily Caller writer advocating ‘converting’ lesbian soldiers through rape (or so accuses internet commenters)

or, second alternative title: “Straight Men in the Military Are Sex Obsessed:  Thoughts on Sexual Orientation Segregation

third alternative title: “The Marginalization of Straight Men Begins in the Military

Joe Rehyansky caused a stir last week in his “Don’t hint, don’t wink: An immodest proposal” piece over on The Daily Caller, where he makes homophobic statements indicative of his age, geographic location and upbringing.  The piece could very well be this Onion piece, and lesbians and under-fire feminists are enraged with some good, albeit wrong, reasons.

Despite the absurdity of Rehyansky’s written word, he touches a point rarely discussed: some men in the military fear homosexuals because they fear rape. I once commented on an unrelated Laurie Essig  piece, where I explain Rehyanksky’s fear before he even expressed it: Read the rest of this entry »


Obsession with cats creeps into Art World

Kittens

Image by crsan via Flickr

This evening, the Pussy Galore Group show including artists Katie Arford, Laura Bovinet, Lianna Faletto, Allysa Hallett, Brandon Howe, Andrea Jablonski, Matthew Jorgensen, Andrew Malvenda, Charlie Megna, Eric Oij, Kelly Reaves, Pat Rios, and Madelyn Strutz, opened at the 345 Gallery smack dab  in the center of the oh-so-trendy Wicker Park, Chicago.

Besides the proliferation of cat pictures and videos all over the internet, I thought I would take the time to remind everyone that the only reason why we like cats is because we all have toxoplasmosis in our brains (1 in 4 Americas has it, thank you very much).

Although not in tonight’s show, Ashley Lande has an excellent piece featuring a floating cat head emitting a prism of light above a prophet Muhammad figure (see the second illustration on the top left). Clearly, Ashley Lande has speculated on whether the prophet Muhammad was infected with toxoplasmosis (I say he was!).   Ashley Lande’s work, as described by Lost at E Minor, takes our “current obsession with neo-primitivism and mysticism [and] exposes the awkwardness that arises from the fetishization and appropriation of cultures.”

Audrey Erickson has also made cats a common subject in her paintings, as seen here. The painting on the very top screams “bird on the brain”, which is fitting when we humans have “cats on the brain”. I only hope this Pussy Galore Group Show is at least a little ironic, or embraces the science behind our obsession with cats.

And just for good measure, here is the latest cat meme sweeping the internet:

[youtubevid id="v71Dtj2W7pw"]


11 reasons why you should download Portal today

The box art for the PC version of Portal.

Image via Wikipedia

Hey all you PC gamers! Today is the last day to download Portal for free! Portal’s freeness is the MAIN reason you should download the game today, but if “free” isn’t enough to entice you, I’ve comprised my own list for why Portal rocks, in no particular order.

10. It is the most unconventional puzzle game you will ever play (well, until the rumored Portal 2).

9. How many puzzle games have you played where inertia was a key feature in solving puzzles? None! Because Portal is one of the most original games you will ever play.

8. The two main  characters in the game are female; both you and the robot who guides you.

7. The writing is insanely witty… from the dialogue to the story line. How can a puzzle game have such good writing? Play it, and find out.

6. The game is about portals!!!…. you make portals, you walk through them, you end up in a different location.  It is mind blowing.

5. Want to know where the origin of “The cake is a lie” meme came from? Portal! What other game is good enough to have a meme?

4. This ending song: [youtubevid id="Y6ljFaKRTrI"]

3. The game only takes you a couple hours to beat, but replay value (radio transmission achievement) is high.

2. The controls are easy to figure out, even if you are not used to the first person perspective in video games.

1. Portal has won numerous awards (ahem, 70!) and received more praise than my beloved Team Fortress 2.


Humans and Neanderthals had sex, now make a video game about it

If you think this is a bad idea for a video game, go watch One Million Years BC

I just heard a story on the radio: NPR’s “Science Friday” about Neanderthals and Humans interbreeding. I have known about this for years…. mainly because traditional history assumed these two species fought each other, and if they did wage war, you know there would have been some raping of women going on. But my firm belief that Neanderthals and Humans had sex also came from the book series “Earth’s Children”, by Jean M. Auel.

I used to sneer at the wikipedia page for calling my favorite series  “speculative alternative historical fiction“, but now my cattiness has been justified. Science has proven what Auel knew all along.

Writes the New York Times:

“Seven years ago, I really thought that it would remain impossible in my lifetime to sequence the whole Neanderthal genome,” Dr. Paabo said at a news conference. But the Leipzig team’s second conclusion, that there was probably interbreeding between Neanderthals and modern humans before Europeans and Asians split, is being met with reserve by some archaeologists.

A degree of interbreeding between modern humans and Neanderthals in Europe would not be greatly surprising given that the species overlapped there from 44,000 years ago when modern humans first entered Europe to 30,000 years ago when the last Neanderthals fell extinct. Archaeologists have been debating for years whether the fossil record shows evidence of individuals with mixed features.

via Signs of Neanderthals Mating with Humans

All fascinating stuff, I just hope racists don’t somehow twist this data.  From GenomeWeb.com:

Now, their comparison of the Neandertal genomes with the genomes of chimpanzees and contemporary humans from around the world hints at previously unappreciated gene flow from Neandertals to humans outside of Africa: their results suggest one to four percent of non-African human genomes are comprised of Neandertal sequence.

via Neandertal Genome Points to Human- Neandertal Interbreeding

For those unfamiliar with Auel’s novels, she writes about an orphaned girl named Ayla who is raised by Neanderthals. Once Ayla hits puberty, she leaves the Neanderthals to find her people, but not before giving birth to a baby of “mixed spirits”. The series is filled with love, action, death, and has tons of description and really really hot sex scenes (as in, the kind that make you all hot and flustered, so don’t read those parts in public).

I have long waited for a video game  based on Ayla and the Earth’s Children series (or movies will do; starting after the 1986 flick “Clan of the Cave Bear” ). I imagine some sort of RPG with a firm storyline where I get skill points for learning to hunt and fight, collecting medicinal plants and treating injuries, engaging in shamanic rituals, and domesticating a range of animals, including horses and wolves. And there can be tons of titties, I won’t complain. Video game execs (I am looking at you Bethesda!), if you need a writer for such a game, hit me up at fruzsina.eordogh (at) gmail.


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